Self-care in the digital space

We have been hearing a lot about self-care lately, and it holds a different meaning for everyone. As most of us spend a significant amount of our time on our phones and computers, I started thinking a lot about self-care in the digital space and what this really means – and again, that’s different for you and me, isn’t it? I hope this heartfelt blog post helps you pause and find your own definition of self-care in the digital space, and what matters to you.

The digital space is full of people sharing their thoughts and opinions on various topics through their posts, visuals, videos or comments on others’. And since everyone has a different outlook, a different perspective and different values, these may or may not be in line with our values. We get triggered, or we react negatively when our values clash and we get that ‘not so good’ feeling in the stomach. Self-care extends to protecting ourselves from all this, and staying firmly grounded on our values. It means being aware of what does not feel right and what we say ‘no’ to. 

“Self-care in the digital space is how you take your platform and your voice back online.”

I’m happy to share with you 5 aspects of life that could be linked to self-care in the digital space.

Acceptance

What do we say ‘yes’ to, and what do we say ‘no’ to?

When networking with people offline, we would not pursue a conversation with a person we didn’t feel connected to or get a good vibe from. Similarly, at the workplace, we may not get along with everyone. However, when we need to have an enjoyable working relationship, we break the ice, start the conversation, lay down our misunderstanding, hope to share how we feel with respect, agree to disagree and find a solution that works for all. 

For some reason, we feel even more sensitive online and it may help to accept that not everything out there is for us. 

Vulnerability

It’s definitely a strength. It takes a lot of courage to be seen and heard for what we believe and stand for. It takes even more courage to share it online, in front of many strangers.

In the courtyard, we used to have a disagreement with 1 person. Now, we appear in front of many and our message may be read by 100s or 1000s of people. It is definitely daunting and overwhelming, but what if you consider just that 1 person who supports you and is happy to read your content or 1 person whom you will inspire today because of what you’re sharing?

When you receive negative or hostile comments, what if the way you answer that 1 person is the way you answer all? With a smile and a polite ‘thank you, but no.’

A conversation is possible, away from social media, only if there is respect and a curiosity about the other person’s point of view. If the comments you receive go against your values, there’s no need to entertain a back and forth and feel the negative interaction. If this disrupts your peace and wellbeing, it is not worth it. You feel vulnerable and your emotions are valid. Step away and don’t acknowledge.

Awareness

What we say ‘yes’ to in life makes us pause, realize and acknowledge what works for us and what doesn’t, and what we really need. It’s the same online. 

Remember that it is YOUR space. You get to decide who comes in, who goes out.

You decide how you use your space, what you say (or not), and what you accept.

We can really have quality interactions and meaningful conversations. Through practice, we can better identify what makes us feel good and what doesn’t. The more aware you are, the more you can change things in your digital space.

Comparison

There is loud, there is silence. There is bold, there is discreet. There is sharing everything, and sharing only a little. And you know what? Everything matters. All scenarios are valid. Often, people use social media for very specific business goals. When you view someone’s post or story, you are witnessing a moment and it doesn’t always represent real life. We never really know why someone has said or shared something. We react to it with our own stories, references and the same goes for someone else. This is their platform, not yours. Respect goes a long way, both ways. And if something affects us negatively, maybe there is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves or to simply let go. 

I don’t think we can ever not compare ourselves online but it is important to realize when we do and pause right there. Too often, I see people putting a lot of pressure on themselves, posting something simply because someone else has. Do what you’re comfortable with and unless inspired positively, don’t look at what others do. Don’t share what you don’t want to. You decide what you share or don’t. And if you’re curious about another person posting certain things you wouldn’t, now back to you – this is their platform. They can post what they want. If you’re still wondering about it, ask them why on the side – and if it is a friend, ask them out for coffee and share what you have in mind, and how their post triggered you. Always, meaningful conversation over small talk.

Boundaries

One important thing – we talk about respect, but you don’t need to tolerate abuse or manipulation in your social space. Respect is key and aggressive, hostile comments or meanness are a big ‘no’. I would not follow or interact with anyone writing mean and discriminative comments, someone who is racist or homophobic and makes others feel bad. I would simply unfollow and block. I don’t need that in my life so I choose to interact with what I like, disregard the rest and move on. This isn’t worth my energy really. I am not here to change everyone’s point of view. Self-care is how I take my voice back online.

The digital space can be noisy, triggering, disheartening and disappointing but I find amazing connections online and inspiration daily. There are people I connect with, who I wouldn’t have met otherwise. I am very aligned with my values and aware of what matters to me. So, I move far away from anything else online. As much as possible, I don’t let things affect me and hurt me, especially by strangers. 

Self-care in the digital space has a lot to do with self-reflection and self-introspection of what we accept and what we don’t. It pushes us to know ourselves better and build a community around our values and what is important to us. It is so important to share what is going on and vent whenever necessary in a safe and kind space. I love it when I don’t doubt myself, my values and my intentions. It is so much easier to say ‘thank you, but no.’